Consent Guidelines
To ensure that everyone feels comfortable at my events, it is important that we all speak a similar language when it comes to interacting with each other.* Since we all come from different communities, have varying experiences, and bring different expectations to these events, I would like to provide you with some guidelines to enable the most harmonious interaction possible.
*I use “interaction” as a synonym for both shibari situations and non-shibari situations that can arise between two or more people.
Consent
01
Touch people only with their explicit consent.
Here, permission is asked before acting, not the other way around—regardless of whether it’s an everyday interaction or an interaction during Shibari.
02
No one may be pressured or coerced into an action, activity, or interaction.
The person must choose to engage in an interaction voluntarily and without pressure or coercion.
03
In order to decide to engage in an interaction - that is, to give consent - it is necessary that the agreement is given on an informed basis.
This means that a person has received all relevant information necessary to make an informed decision and has understood this information before agreeing or declining. In a kinky context, this can include the intentions and expectations of the other person(s) or the risks associated with the practice.
04
Real power dynamics can limit a person’s ability to assess and give consent.
Keep in mind that different levels of experience, social status, or notoriety can lead to real power dynamics that are not always immediately visible or welcome. Interact only with people you truly feel comfortable with—not just because they hold an important role in the community or are particularly skilled at something.
05
To be capable of giving consent, individuals must be in a physical and mental state that allows them to make an informed decision.
Top or subspace, drug use, or similar states can impair the ability to make decisions and give consent.
06
Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
It’s okay to give consent in one moment and shortly afterward realize that something is no longer wanted. When consent is withdrawn or a session is stopped (e.g., by using safewords), that form of interaction must be ended immediately.
07
Consent must be obtained repeatedly and continuously.
If the other person has given consent to something once, it does not mean that they would “automatically” give consent again at the next encounter.
08
Consent is not transferable.
Just because a person has consented to interaction x, it does not mean that all subsequent interactions are automatically okay.
Klare Kommunikation & Grenzen
01
Each individual is responsible for themselves and for clearly communicating their needs and boundaries.
Even if it may be difficult to say “no,” use your voice to express your feelings. Clear communication helps prevent misunderstandings and unwanted situations.
02
Create an environment where it is easy for others to communicate their needs and boundaries.
Be attentive, interpret body language, and give people the space to become aware of their own feelings.
03
Only "Yes" means "Yes".
If a person is unsure, hesitates, or says nothing at all, that means “no.” A “no” is not a rejection—it can have many different reasons. A “no” is a complete sentence, and people do not owe an explanation for why they are (currently) not interested. Respect this, don’t take it personally, and appreciate the person’s ability to set and express their own boundaries.
04
Take care of your physical and mental health during the event.
This means having enough food and drink, as well as the ability to withdraw from overwhelming situations and take breaks.
You need help?
Your safety and well-being are my highest priority. If you ever feel that someone attending my events, someone I teach, or someone invited by me as an instructor behaves in an intrusive or abusive manner, or if there are any incidents at the events themselves, please do not hesitate to contact me immediately. I will take every case seriously, handle it with absolute confidentiality, and work together with you to find solutions to respond appropriately and restore a safer space for everyone involved.
You can reach out to me personally or via email (at mieneko@gmx.de) or via Telegram (@MieNekoRope).